MeINFJs make up only 2% of the population –  no wonder we’re so misunderstood!  I know that for much of my life I felt that there was something wrong with me, that I wasn’t as good as the people around me. But as I studied to become a certified coach and MBTI practitioner I began to really understand that we can only be at our best when we are most fully ourselves.  That means that my quietness isn’t a lack of anything, it’s a peaceful, serene silence.  And the fact that I remember the color of the sky rather than the name of the street I’m on is a strength, not a weakness.

I am a student, single mother and a veteran of the corporate world. I love learning, growing, overcoming my weaknesses and leveraging my strengths.  And I love helping other people do the same, which is why I created this website.

I know how wonderful it feels to find the power in who we are and use it to grow our own special brand of strength and character.  That’s what this website is about.


Let me  know what you think!

9 thoughts on “Me

  1. Wow, I am so glad I found this site. Yay for google. Though I haven’t read all your posts, the few that I have are quite insightful and I look forward to gaining wisdom from your life as an INFJ. (I have this type preference as well.)
    Cheers, Allie

  2. And the fact that I remember the color of the sky rather than the name of the street I’m on is a strength, not a weakness.
    Great line – thanks for the encouragement, Melinda

  3. I suspect I’ve left it all a bit late ….

    The Jung types are pretty much ignored in the UK, and if anything, normally associated with self-obsessed Americans who have a bottomless desire to air their dirty washing in public. (e.g. “Hello, how are you ?” – “I’m feeling not too good about myself today” – what ???!!!! It’s a standard question that has a standard response “Oh, I’m fine, thanks, and you ?”. So we’ve all left this psychobabble where it belongs – safely in a box marked ‘delusional’.)

    I’m not so sure that was wise, and here I am at the tender age of 60 taking a little intellectual time out, and doing a huge re-map brought on by health problems, and finally getting a bit tired of running around as a freelance consulting engineer doing all the jobs that aren’t strictly mine, just to get the job done (don’t say it ! – it’s not my problem – I know).

    The people on the health forums go on endlessly about their Jung typing and how they’re a perfect RSVP (or whatever), so in an idle moment I thought I’d investigate. Inasmuch as I knew anything about the types, I was sure that I’d have all the attributes of an INTJ but with the odd ‘arty’ bit added on the side as I play/teach the piano, compose/arrange and run a couple of choirs in my spare time (and I’ve also been a local politician and magistrate in more energetic times). Not a bit of it, I discover that I rate as a INFJ, and having read through so much today, know that I’ve found my niche. almost ‘coming home’. Some of the observations even make me inwardly blush because they’re so perceptive and so accurate.

    It’s a bit early to say I’m a convert to the whole thing, but your observations and coping mechanisms could certainly help a great deal and give much food for thought. Many I’ve learned by trial and error and practised for years (why do you spell it practiced, as it’s a verb, incidentally ? – is that me being a INFJ again ?).

    Anyway, before I ramble on forever boring the knickers off you all, a word of thanks for putting so much useful stuff out for us ‘innocents abroad’. It’s very much appreciated.

    Here’s to the start of some ‘golden years’ with my wife of some 35 years standing (how long ????)

    1. Hi Otto,

      How nice to hear from you! I’ve found that there’s a level of knowledge and wisdom available under the “party game” level of Myers Briggs that can be life-changing. Understanding our own type and, as importantly, the types of those around us, can launch us into a whole new relationship with who we are and how we fit into the world.

      I love the way you write, you’re very witty and articulate! I’d love it if you’d consider writing a guest post for the blog, so you can share some of your hard-earned knowledge! I’ve found that us senior INFJs have a lot of useful information for the youngsters who tend to really struggle with it. (You can find information on contributing a guest post here:

      Hope to hear more from you!


  4. Thank you so much for this site! In the past couple years, I have felt that I have evolved into an extreme INFJ – including intense strengths and intense weaknesses. This site has helped me flesh out goals to balance myself – thanks!

  5. Hi Melinda,

    After learning in the last 2 years that I am an INFJ, so much clarity has been brought to my life. Blogs like yours are invaluable to the younger INFJ, and I really wish a site like yours existed in my 20’s.

    Now that I am in the beginning of my 30’s, I’m finding integration of what I’m learning about myself, as well as working on inferior functions has been invaluable. Meditation, visualization, and mindfulness have really helped me with my inferior se, which is our weakest function. Also, having friends that are both FP and NT is very helpful in developing opposite thinking and perceiving functions. In my experience, be weary of ‘S’ types. They can be good friends at a distance, but the differences can be very distinct and potentially unhealthy. However, you’ll likely learn a lot through the relationship in regards to your personal boundaries and limitations.

    Just remember that your way of looking at the world needs to be heard, as it is unique and worth sharing.

    xo Ash

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