10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life: Epilogue – It’s Your Turn

Writing journal

The steps in 10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life are based on my challenges, on what I’ve learned in my life.  They are the rules I try to follow every day to be the boldest, strongest and best person I can be.  But we all know that all INFJs aren’t the same.  So it’s time for you to create your own list of steps.

Here’s how:

  • Go back and read each of the previous ten steps in this series with a critical eye, exploring what’s true for you and what isn’t.  Redefine each step so that it suits you, adding what’s needed and tossing out what’s not.
  • Next, it’s your turn.  From the context of your life, what can you add to the list? Take your time in creating and exploring what you come up with – your rules are important.  When I started creating this series, when I took the time to really think about what I wanted to say, my awareness deepened and I learned even more about how to deal with my challenges. Your rules for life reflect who you want to be in the world, so create them thoughtfully.  You can use the following questions to help you flesh your new rules out:
      • What’s important about this rule?  Why is your rule worth thinking about and working on?
      • What’s lost when you don’t follow the rule?
      • What do you gain when you do?
  • Honor your rules in a way that works for you.  You might want to record them in a beautiful journal, or share them with someone else who can benefit.  Make sure they don’t get lost, they are an expression of what’s important to you. Your

Your rules for life should be a living, breathing list that grows and deepens as you go through your  life.  You can use them as guideposts when making decisions, and let them help you stay clear and focused during tough times.  They should reflect not only what you’ve learned but what you want to learn, they should inform both who you are and who you want to be.

Thank you for going on this journey with me, this is the final installment in 10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life.  I love all the connections that I’ve been able to make with other INFJs through this series, and I love hearing from you about your experiences as you discover the beauty of being an INFJ.


5 thoughts on “10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life: Epilogue – It’s Your Turn

  1. Thanks so much for this! I think this will truly help me move past the difficulties I have in my life and allow myself to embrace who I truly am. I used to hate the fact that I was a feeler (F) but after reading your 10 posts, I know that having an F, especially an NF is truly a gift not only to myself but to humanity. It is the F that drives me to continue with my ambitious goals to help and save the world one step at a time.

    Thanks once again for your guidance!

  2. The 10 blogs were amazing! Well done! especially on that we shouldn’t just focus on what we are as INFJ’s but that we need to learn from it, love ourselves and recognize what we still need to work on/that we still need to participate some how, not just using INFJ personality as an excuse to not do some things at all.
    It’s been a year since discovering my personality type and its been an amazing journey, I went from feeling like I don’t fit in this world and being depressed to truely loving myself and how I operate in this world, thankful that I can identify what to still work at or where to tread carefully. I’m even pursuing my passions and feel sure I’ve discovered my calling. It’s bloggs like these that lead me to the change and I’m extremely grateful that God inspired it in your heart and you took head of the call.

  3. I’m so glad you found the blog helpful, Karien. It’s amazing what opens up for us when we learn to accept and make the most of who we are! Thanks 🙂

  4. Amazing and so much depth and guidance on tuning into the best self; for the best of others. It is in turn the start to our purposes,related to our individual talents and inner calling. Thank you more than I can express. . I do want to contribute a bit. Of coarse not that clearly but the jist of it can ring true to some in a helpful manner. A new rule. Between 8/9 from memory..What’s important about this rule?

    Training your brain to understand the best from the worst inflictions toward an INFJ and others ie socipaths. Borderline personality disorder types and narsasictic tendancies.

    Why is your rule worth thinking about and working on?

    The INFJ can disocociate and blame others and themselves for feeling guilty of failure in them selfves for not trusting intuition fearing judgement from a moral code within.. mainly the feeling factor and probably more like judging..”door slam”

    What’s lost when you don’t follow the rule?

    The time old saying “don’t let others make you bitter but better” the consequences are feeling depressed interior and completely out of focus due to the negative impact you are not willing to let go of and forgive yourself for the learning experience you had the courage to understand you knowingly got into. And forgiving the toxic one for that impact and knowing they enfasized your weeknesses as a gift to know you really can see through it for the better. knowing that the minimal percent of INFJ can connect on many levels after many persitant efforts to be the best for them and others. There is a path that attracting negative toxic types into our circle are undeniable for some…( As you warned to write of only and not indulge in ones you are drawn too.) Fantastic advice! Only if your intuition has developed beyond the other morals that can hold you back from not being in tune with intuition = conflict with judgement. ( I believe that essentially is in many ways what you coach. In other words develop intuition as well as all aspects of other weekness worked upon for the better good of all. Back on topic! some who have been crushed by the toxic and rebuild in a hindsight that the toxic types that do NOT really fit in to all the personality types; they have repetitive patterns INFJ can see through but only till they have made mistakes or learn from another but that seems rare given how many levels INFJ consider.. ultimately to understand that in development stages of INFJ we attract the toxic at times: is to know intuitively, the toxic are helpless regardless of the delusion they morfed into to our aquaintance and they were put there in your life to exasperate your weekness on a hard lesson to be more attentive to the true gift within combative self improvement pushing and improving the best effect on others to make a real difference…and best capabilities of an INFJ you teach..as you said learn to say no..
    What do you gain when you do?

    I kinda touched on some of the gains in the minimal feeling of dimise I expressed “if rule not undertood- understand the best in us types can attract the most toxic to break us from even having a start to well in the teachings of Melinda depending on the point of awareness you personally have developed throughout her teachings or combination of your own!!
    …a better tangible since of inate qualities other toxic influences can teach if they trick thier self’s into your life to the point you haven’t learned to say “no” yet …before the concept of developing all the qualities you teach Melinda. Ugh, hard to understand and contradictions.,.. conclusion …what to gain from this. 8 between 9 rule is it reinfoces how to percive in better ways, through the bad confliction of others to contribute to what they actually showed you, which was what it took on the development phase prior to Melinda’s teachings between 8/9 to improve on….if you experienced this ….because sociopaths are also 1-5 % of the population as well. As infj’s are gifts to humanity so are we, now know the toxic are gifts to exasperateing and throwing in our face our weeknesses in the brutal aspects that in turn through the inate qualities (of the develped through teachings of Melinda) INFJ’s can only decipher, I need my opinion, and intuition as that makes you as well the 1-2 % even less and the ability to learn from tangible ingulfment of these toxic empty decieving succulent that prey on what you offer is the best that they lack and by the “door slam” learning the trusting of the decision upon your moral values of trusting “no” without explanation within yourself . You might no know half of the abuse that can come from contradictions infj’s are capable to be empowered from and what you think you know will decieve you if your judgment overrules your intuition. And assertiveness.. Don’t make any sudden moves. …” “Play the fool to fool the fool’ if we are in the development stage, dealing with the toxic..trust the “door slam”! Do NOT FEEL! please learn from the fear /doubt that is capitalized toward you as a weekness and follow Melinda’s week long exercises to envelop the concepts to a life long habit and journey…here is a song that describes this…tune in please… Heathens by twenty one pilots…

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