The INFJ Coach

I love hearing from ya’ll out there, I’m constantly amazed at the spirit and depth of thought of the INFJs who I’ve connected with.  The following is a guest post by Izzati, who has been a consistent and insightful contributor to the comments section of The INFJ Coach blog. 

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I wish that someday I could contribute to the creation of ‘’global villages’’ where empathy and emotional connections reach advanced stages. I wish that someday I could teach tolerance and tact on an international basis.  I wish that someday I could inspire women to find their beauty and themselves even more.

INFJ’s tend to have high ideals which tend to be people related.  My ideals are so big, is it realistic to think that I can achieve completion of those ideals?  Only time can tell, and if I choose to only meet 100%, I will be disappointed.  Some people believe that nothing is less painful than just meeting our ideal halfway, in other words; ‘’all or nothing.’’  But for me attaining even some level of fulfillment and meaning (yes, meaning, it is not exactly only a bogus or far-fetched term, for me it is real) would make my life worth living.

Here are a few practical guidelines that I think might be useful for anyone for achieving the ideals and ‘’meanings’’ that we want, even if only ‘halfway’ or ‘by a little’:

Identify Your  Key Strengths

Identify what are your strong points, even if you can only think of one for the moment. For example, if your strength is in literature and you wish to help charities someday, think of how those things can be connected – for instance, you might write a book of poetry or an article dedicated to people in need someday.

Do Open Research

Do open research to find objectivity. I am not talking about ‘’objectivity’’ that is perceived by some as the view of relying solely on ‘facts’ from only a few research samples. I am talking about a more extensive approach, a willingness to be more open to the differing views of others, even if it means researching across multiple cultural contexts. I was surprised to find so many stories out there of people who had their dreams and miracles come true – open, rich qualitative data for research can be every bit as relevant as statistics or quantitative research.

For me, a key factor is communication. You might not agree with as many people as you would like, but extensive research in many avenues can be a life changing experience. After all, we do live based on our subjective experiences and beliefs, and what better to be more engaged with the external world than to learn more empathetically about other people’s subjective experiences? I believe that one way to know whether your ideals can work in any place in this world, is to allow yourself to ‘’look through other people’s windows of shared realities.’’

Consult with People You Trust

A number of people in your life may know your intentions in implementing some of your ideals and they may encourage you. If they want what is best for you, they will be willing to weigh the pros and cons of some of your dreams if you ask them. It is good if you can even find some of their interests that relate to your ideals.

Do Small Experiments

Do small experiments to decide how and whether your ideals can be useful or otherwise. For example, I mentioned about tolerance. Thus I sometimes wrote posts on the dangers of negative self fulfilling prophecies as well as labeling, and tested them out by asking for other people’s feedback. Being INFJ, I am aware that criticism can be a tough cookie, especially because of the ‘F’ we hold some values very dear to us. It helps to remember our own intentions and objectives even in the face of trials or arguments. A good intention is like a good seed.

People may say I would never be able to, for example, encourage higher levels of global empathy in 30 countries.  However, I might be able to encourage some people to think about political change, to think that empathy should be included even in the socio-political landscape. Sometimes, regardless whether they can be achieved, what is most important is how you find yourself in the process of searching for the implementation of your ideals. Self discovery shapes your character and ultimately connects your internal world to the external world.

Izzati is a student and aspiring writer who wants to contribute greatly to politics someday.