The INFJ Coach

You Have the Right to Be Yourself

10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life: #1 View Yourself as Whole

When is the last time you heard an extrovert talk about how they wished they could be more introverted?  How they would like to start taking more time to think before they talk, or be able to just sit quietly at a party and enjoy watching the activity?

Probably never. You’re more likely to hear the reverse: introverts want to be more extroverted, more outgoing, more comfortable in social situations.  When this happens, when introverts focus on what they don’t have they end up ignoring the qualities they do have.

We Create Our Own Experience

Introverts often equate sitting alone at a party with being unpopular, but that’s only one way of looking at it. If you slouch in a corner looking like a loser, sure, your demeanor will telegraph exactly that.  Your anxious face will shout your innermost thoughts to the crowd: “I have no friends!” As a result – you guessed it – no one will want to talk to you.

SerenityNow imagine yourself at that same party, sitting in that same corner, but this time you’re calm and interested in what’s going on around you.  You don’t feel like a loser because you aren’t – you have friends, they just aren’t with you at the moment.  You realize that you can talk to people if you want to but you don’t have to, you know that you can leave any time you want.

Feels different, doesn’t it?  Now you’re sitting by yourself because you choose to.

You Are Not a Non-Extrovert

INFJ’s can get in the trap of defining who we are by comparing ourselves to our opposites.  We view our introversion as a lack of extroversion, we see our preference for dealing with our inner world as being inattentive.  We can believe that our emotionality makes us seem less intelligent, and that our preference for organization is an imposition on those who are more spontaneous and fun.

We need to turn that around.  We need to take the view that our quietness gives us a lovely depth of thought and creates calm in our environment.  And our ability to read between the lines is a perfect complement to analytical thought.  We need to value the fact that our orderly lives enable us to help our less organized family and friends.

And, the one I like best, our tender hearts are devoted to bringing peace and love into the world – what could be more important than that?

Exercise:  Interview With an INFJ

INFJs, in their desire to for harmony, can ignore or not even recognize their preferences.  In addition they can end up discounting their strengths and skills and focus on what others can do that they can’t.  The following exercise is designed to help you explore and embrace your unique likes and dislikes and better understand your strengths.

Directions: This exercise is designed to identify your preferences and strengths, so leave negativity and self-pity (yep, I said it – self-pity!) at the door.  Your answers should be positive declarations (e.g. “I love candy” as opposed to “I eat too many sweets.”)

  1. What is your favorite time of the day?
  2. What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
  3. What are your top three skills?
  4. What kind of humor do you like?  Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
  5. What is your favorite way to relax?
  6. What are you smartest about?
  7. Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
  8. Who comes to you for help?
  9. What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done?  What skills did it take to do it?  How did you feel afterwards?
  10. What kind of books do you like?
  11. How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
  12. What is your favorite type of movie?
  13. What are your favorite foods?
  14. What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
  15. What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
  16. What would your friends say that they love about you?
  17. What do you love about yourself?
  18. What are you most proud of in your life?
  19. When are you most yourself?
  20. What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
  21. What else?  Add your ideas in the comments section!

***

What can you add?  What have you learned about viewing yourself as whole?  Are there any books or articles on the subject that you can recommend?

This is the first installment in 10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life.

40 responses to “10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life: #1 View Yourself as Whole

  1. Aneta Salzerova March 6, 2011 at 4:51 am

    Hi,I’m Aneta(18 years old) from Czech Republic(it’s not well known,so..it’s small country in centre of the europe called “heart” of the Europe:-) I agree with you,that we create our experience.I’m aware of it and I’m glad.Because it was a time in my life,when I felt like a victim of the events and after this a little bit deppresive period of my life,when I had made change and had gone from elementary school to grammer school(seventh class)I suddenly “woke up” and found out,that many things and problems are your choice.Because I found a good friends,and started to belived,that the world offers us many opportunities to grow..the happines is around us,we must recognize it and “catch it”.It depends on us,what we decided to do with it.Point of view influence reality.We percieve at the first time and than we see.And I think INFJs identify with their feelings too much.Feelings are our treasure,of course..but sometimes we let ourselves to drown in it.I like the quote: Feartry to humble us and we should learn to observe how it makes noise and let it go like a storm and than there is pure being,which stay.And I believe,that we can easily influence our reality with our great self-awareness :-)
    Here are my answers :
    1) Evening..I think about day,that passed and sometimes I’m full of expectations,what will happen other day.I have also more inspiration at evenings
    2)It depends,whether I am on some concert(party..)or I am alone at home.When I go out with good friends I enjoy my time with them as much as possible.When I am at home,I go to bed regularly about 10 o’clock.I get up after 9 o’clock.
    3)Empathy,understanding,cooperation
    4)Quirky
    5)meditation,reading,music
    6)I’m not sure,if i understand well.Maybe you ask me about my intelligence..so smart about languages.
    7)my best friend
    8)My friends.And even if people don’t know me so well,they easily start to trust me.
    9)To overcome my bad self-confidence
    10)Some novels about people with description of their inner worl(feelings and thoughts..so russian literature is very good at it)I like also biography about people with interesting life.And spiritual books
    11)I must mention..that I would’n choose clothes according to mark(like Versace,Dior..)I would choose some original clothes(with fantasy) from some handy designer
    12)Drama
    13)italian-pasta,pizza.And i like vegetable in various forms
    14)sports,reading,writing,go for trip and enjoy talking with my good friends
    15)Our life is a miracle and it’s important to appreciate happines,until we loose it and say ‘I like you” until is too late. My friend died in her 17(I don’t see her regurarly,but I know her thanks for my good friend.She was so fine.Time to time we go out together) To concantrate on one thing. Be more spontaneus
    16)empathy,loyalty,kindness
    17)thouhgtfullness,deep soul,understanding
    18)that I can stand by my conviction.For example when others discourage me,when I want to go to grammar school.Because there aren’t good teacher and so on.But I felt inside,I must go there.I needed change..and I believed my inner voice.I can’t remember any other concrete thing now.
    19)When I sit quietly and put my thoughts on paper-write poem.Or when I can express my truly feelings my understanding friend.
    20)I should decide,if I really want to be a psychologist and start to do volunteering to get practice

    • Melinda March 7, 2011 at 9:25 am

      Hi Aneta,

      Wow – love your energy and your deep connection with your “INFJness” :) And I’m amazed at how well you express yourself, especially since english is your second language. I think my favorite statement is “the happines is around us,we must recognize it and “catch it”’ – perfect!!!

      Thanks for your lovely contribution to my blog,

      Melinda

      • Aneta Salzerova March 8, 2011 at 9:46 am

        :-) Nice of you,thanks :-) Wish you a pleasure with the blog..i’m looking forward to read more

  2. Ebi March 8, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Thank you for another excellent article Melinda. I look forward to #’s 2 – 10 gracing my inbox soon.

    Also, I like the following line from Aneta’s post “Point of view influence reality”. Im sure we could write essays on just those few words!

  3. emianni March 18, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Hello, stumbled on your blog and I’m loving it. I’m Nigerian.

    What is your favorite time of the day?
    12 am to 6am! Because most people are asleep, Its quiet and its serene, wheew!

    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    I need to sleep better but for now, I go to bed at 2am and wake up at 9am.

    What are your top three skills?
    Objectiveness, Imagination and Empathy

    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    Quirky, Slapstick, Sarcastic, Clowny. Nothing dirty

    What is your favorite way to relax?
    Music in the background, with a book and some food, alone. I love water, so under the shower, in the bath or pool. Watching a comedies with food, alone.

    What are you smartest about?
    Ideas, Drawing, Discernment.

    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    I usually try to help myself.

    Who comes to you for help?
    Some friends on specific areas.

    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    I can’t remember.

    What kind of books do you like?
    Different genres, I just have to like the plot. I avoid most romance novels though, because they have the same structure.

    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    Jeans/skirt and teeshirt with sandals. A dress and sandals

    What is your favorite type of movie?
    Comedies, Animation, some musicals.

    What are your favorite foods?
    Anything crunchy.

    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    Being a child, running helter skelter

    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    1. How much responsible I am for the things that happen to me
    2. That God is all I need.
    3. Love is truly unconditional

    What would your friends say that they love about you?
    Craziness, Intelligence, Creativity, Simpleness

    What do you love about yourself?
    Same ^^

    What are you most proud of in your life?
    I can only boast in Christ, I am glad I can find contentment in the simplest things

    When are you most yourself?
    Any and Everytime

    What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    I’m under a little bit of pressure to be financially free

    • Melinda May 9, 2011 at 8:42 am

      Emianni – just saw this again and realized I never responded to you. LOVE your answers, so elegant and clear :) Thanks for taking the time to share. Melinda

  4. izzati March 26, 2011 at 2:15 am

    This is also excellent! Thank you for this :)

  5. Chihiro April 14, 2011 at 6:08 am

    I have been searching for infomation about INFJ since I first took MBTI test, this is the greatest post ever. Really concise and practical. Indeed being an INFJ is one of the hardest thing on earth but there is also a great reward behind it. I’m a 18 years old boy living alone in a big city, life is hard and even harder if you have to take everything by yourself. I did managed to make some friends but it turned out that’s not what I need, none of those friends understand me and care how I feel(I can’t blame them for not being a introvert). So I ended up being a lonely, lifeless boy who afrait of everything. Sometimes I don’t even know what is truely meaningful to me. I even tried to think of me as an extrovert even thought I knew it wouldn’t work. I always ask my self the same question over and over again when I’m depressed “Please God let me see what I haven’t seen ’cause I’m too tired of “trying”. I wish there were a button that you just need to push it and everything is gone, even yourself. And I feel at Peace…

  6. Yvonne May 6, 2011 at 10:22 am

    1. What is your favorite time of the day?
    My favorite time of day is around 5 or 6 pm. It’s when the world begins to slow down and get quiet. The birds sing and rest and gather together on the electrical wires. It’s like natures little social gathering. To me it appears as though they are gathering for their own purpose. To me they look happy.
    2. What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    I a m a night owl. I do my best thinking late at night and i like to sleep in in the morning. Again, if i’m up until 5 am i get to hear the birds sing and start their day. Music to my ears.
    3. What are your top three skills?
    Listening, solving, organizing
    4. What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    I enjoy all humour as long as it is not offensive or cruel.
    5. What is your favorite way to relax?
    I enjoy cuddling on the couch with a warm blanket watching a good movie… with or without company.
    6. What are you smartest about?
    I can walk into a room and instinctively know if something is right or wrong.
    7. Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    Its not a person. Its my God
    8. Who comes to you for help?
    Many people have come to me for help/answers. They are usually teenagers.
    9. What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    Exposing my family secret. The fact that i was being abused. Later in life i sought legal help and charged my father for incest. It took alot of courage. Although i was not entirely happy with the outcome he was forced into a treatment plan. The world became aware of who he was and the harm he could cause. I felt proud of myself.
    10. What kind of books do you like?
    I will read fiction but prefer fact.
    11. How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    I feel very comfortable in suits. I like to dress stunning… doesn’t have to be expensive. Just well put together.
    12. What is your favorite type of movie?
    Documentaries, mysteries, comedies…
    13. What are your favorite foods?
    Pasta
    14. What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    I love to dance but ever partner i’ve ever had does not. I usually end up dancing with girlfriends or strangers.
    15. What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    Nothing is permanent, change is imminent and love from others can be lost.
    16. What would your friends say that they love about you?
    My warm heart and great advice.
    17. What do you love about yourself?
    I am very nurturing and filled with empathy.
    18. What are you most proud of in your life?
    My children and how i raised them to be free thinkers, strong and good citizens.
    19. When are you most yourself?
    When i am with my closest friends and family and by myself.
    20. What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    I have to get my life back on track, write a book and take better care of myself.

  7. Raymond June 14, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    Thank you so much for your website. I recently took the MBPT and I got INFJ as well. When I read more into the personality and the strengths/weaknesses of that type I realized exactly how much I related to everything that was being described. It was uncanny, I felt as if I were staring into my own reflection. I’ve felt at least everything you described in your post at least once in my life. I can’t convey the amount of relief I feel knowing there are at least some people out there like me.

    What is your favorite time of the day? Dawn and Dusk
    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning? Around 1 AM and get up around 10 AM.
    What are your top three skills? My observation, my intuition, and my imagination.
    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty? All three and add sarcastic and dry to the batch.
    What is your favorite way to relax? Somewhere peaceful outdoors.
    What are you smartest about? Relationships and people.
    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help? My best friend
    Who comes to you for help? Mostly my closest friends and family
    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards? Face the death of loved ones. I had to accept the things in which I had no control and I had to realize that life is too short to be bogged down with fear. I felt better about myself.
    What kind of books do you like? All kinds, but I’m especially fond of suspense, horror, and drama.
    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget? Similar to how I dress now, just more brand name quality.
    What is your favorite type of movie? Drama and Horror
    What are your favorite foods? All things Mexican and Italian
    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing) Writing, acting, reading, and exploring nature.
    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year? Life is way shorter than you think. Never settle for second best. And never forget your joys in the midst of your sorrows.
    What would your friends say that they love about you? My sense humor, my advice, and my kindness.
    What do you love about yourself? My sense of humor, my tender heart, and my optimism.
    What are you most proud of in your life? My physical, emotional, and spiritual investment in the people and ideals I love.
    When are you most yourself? When I’m with my closest loved ones and when I am performing.
    What challenge are you facing in your life right now? Growing and changing; separating the wheat from the chaff in my life.

    • Melinda June 15, 2011 at 9:35 am

      Hi Raymond,

      Yeah, I’ve found that most people feel a huge sense of validation when they see their Myers Briggs type description – it’s almost as if all those things they felt were wrong about themselves suddenly feel right.

      I love your answers, I can see the richness and depth in your life.

      Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts,

      Melinda

  8. Ennostiel July 15, 2011 at 2:20 am

    New Note 20

    Hi, i’m Natascha. I’m 14 years old and i come from Croatia( that is in Europe) I have noticed my difference when i was little like 8 year. Whenever i was in a group of people i would shut myself out and listen to them only because i suck at being in a bounch of people, because then don’t care what others say, they just say it just to say something. It doesn’t has to fit. Big mouth small words i call it. It is diffrent when i’m talk to one person i can actually say something without getting weird looks from other, which makes me insecure in conversations, so i keep quiet the most of the time. I had always weird ideas, any ways i do stuff and way i think, so i was a little bit a freak when i was little but now i’m accepted . When i found about the MBTI quiz ( think it is called like that ) i took it and i turned out that i’m a INFJ, a couple of times, but i’m not pretty sure about it becaus i feel like i have a bounch personality in me. Does it make any sense? i hope there are no mistakes in my spelling because English is my third language :)

    1. Evening, but i like the morning too.
    2. Depents when i’m sleepy, but i always get around 9 o’clock.
    3. Reading people, caring,understanding
    4.Quirky
    5. Talking a walk, sleep, painting or drawing
    6. I don’t know actually never thought about.
    7. My best friend.
    8.Everybody who is willing to help xD
    9.There are a lot of things but i don’t know what was the hardest. Things are never hard for me, however bad they are i find a way to get throught them with a smile on my face.
    10. Spitirual books,books about the mistery of life and so on.
    11. Whatever i like, doesn’t have to be a mark.
    12. Fantasy
    13.Pizza, chevaps with onions, chocolate ….
    14. Cooking, i like writing too but i’m a bad writer so droped it.
    15. 1.That everything has a end, i think it is better so, because we would be trapt in the same thing. 2.No matter how people are crule to us we should be nice to them because up stares is a award waiting for our kidness. 3.That time heals every wound.
    There are more stuff that i learned, but i never find a ways to use them.
    16.Deep, well-read, complicated, caring,understading..
    17. My intuition, the way i know stuff..
    18. well… i don’t know there are many stuff i’m proud but none that i can single out.
    19.When i’m alone, when i’m paint or draw, listening to music..
    20. I don’t know what to say xD

  9. Melinda July 16, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Hi Natascha,

    I love all the exploring you’re doing about who you are and what you’re comfortable with, keep doing it! And I understand what it’s like to feel awkward speaking up in a group but it does get easier the more you do it.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts,

    Melinda

    P.S. Take some time to think about the answer to question #6 – it’s important!

  10. Jeanette November 14, 2011 at 7:06 am

    I don’t usually write on blogs, but wanted to let you know that I find your posts really helpful in developing myself in a balanced way as an INFJ. I’ve tested as an INF since I was in my early teens, and found that last letter a few years ago. Reading my type description was, like you said, immensely validating, and from reading posts and blogs shared by other INFJs, I’m so glad to hear there’re others like me! Especially after growing up always feeling a little bit different. :)

    I can really identify with having to face fears in a big way, and needing to find meaning in life. It’s stuff I’ve been writing and thinking about for years! Your 10 steps ring true, and I used your interview questions above in journalling and they’re fantastic. The part in your post about defining yourself by what you are, not what you’re not, really stood out to me. Thanks for the work you do, and for generously sharing it online. Cheers :)

  11. Kylie November 14, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    I lovelovelove this blog; was hooked the second I saw the front page. Thank you so much for this! I can’t speak for all INFJs, but just reading this and knowing that everything I think/feel is totally valid feels amazing (I knew it before, but it’s one thing to know it and another to feel it)

    What is your favorite time of the day?
    I love the early evening, after work and before bedtime. It’s just full of promise and peace at the same time.
    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    Ideally, it would be bed at midnight, up at nine or ten. Rarely the case!
    What are your top three skills?
    I’m a great writer, very observant, and I’m really good at being someone my friends can talk to.
    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    Quirky, awkward humour is best, imho.
    What is your favorite way to relax?
    With a cup of tea and some episodes of my favourite shows.
    What are you smartest about?
    Myself. I feel like I know myself really well, even if there have been times of doubt. I know who I am, and what I want my life to be. Everything else is about constant learning! I love to learn about all kinds of topics, and I feel like I’ll never be done.
    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    My boyfriend, Thomas. Or my parents. They’re the three people I trust most.
    Who comes to you for help?
    Friends who trust me.
    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    I moved from everyone and everything I’ve ever known to go to university. Then I made it a semi-permanent move by staying in the city from Sept 2009 to June 2011. It was a huge adjustment and it was terrifying, but doing this got me more in tune with myself, I figured out who the people in my life are that really matter, and I now love two cities instead of just one. It took everything I had to commit to those four years, but I’m so glad I did.
    What kind of books do you like?
    Chick lit, history, fiction, horror.
    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    Simple and timeless, with a bit of an edge. (Think a boarding t-shirt under a gorgeous blazer.)
    What is your favorite type of movie?
    Comedy, rom-com, some action, horror
    What are your favorite foods?
    Pizza, chicken, spinach salad, rice, grilled cheese & soup, couscous
    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    Writing, reading, photography, walking, collaborating with friends, spending time with my family, snowboarding, diving.
    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    – You can’t change what people do, just how to react to it.
    – Go with your gut more often
    – When you know it’s right, you know it’s right.
    What would your friends say that they love about you?
    Probably my sense of humour!
    What do you love about yourself?
    Also my sense of humour. And I like my quiet thoughtfulness.
    What are you most proud of in your life?
    My degree, my relationships with the people who matter, my family.
    When are you most yourself?
    At home, without even thinking about it.
    What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    Career transition. I want it to be right, but I won’t know if it is until I relax and experience it. Catch-22 almost. But it feels good so far :)
    What else? Add your ideas in the comments section!
    This is really comprehensive! I can’t think of anything else. Excellent questions, and thanks so much again for sharing.

  12. Pingback: INFJ quick survey. | call me kayjer

  13. Haley December 1, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Thanks so much for having this blog… I feel this is gonna be an amazing resource for me.

    1. I love nighttime. I feel like my mind is the most active at night, brimming with loads of ideas.
    2. I usually go to bed around 10 or 11, and wake up around 6 or 7 thanks to early morning college classes :P
    3. Writing, analyzing people, and typing.
    4. I love all kinds of humor. I laugh at ALMOST everything.
    5. Drinking a cup of Earl Grey and watching Real Housewives :)
    6. I’m smartest about literature, social sciences, politics and government, and music.
    7. My mom or a good song.
    8. My sister, my mom, and my friends come to me for help. Sometimes strangers come to me for help too.
    9. Going off to college has been really difficult for me, and it still is. It’s taken a lot of strength and introspection to do it – more than I thought I’d already done in life. I’m not sure how I’ll feel afterwards… hopefully more positive and confident socially :)
    10. I love books on psychology or anthropology. Historical fiction is awesome. I love books like The Alchemist… very inspiring stuff. Right now I’m reading The Hunger Games; I love futuristic things like that that challenge what you think of your present life. I also love fluffy young adult mysteries.
    11. Oh my god… I think I’d look very sophisticated, yet with a dash of hippie thrown in there. I love sleek, smooth, easygoing clothing.
    12. Old movies are amazing… The Children’s Hour comes to mind. I love movies that inspire, have great cinematography, or just stand out in some way. All genres are great to me – drama, horror, action, comedy, etc.
    13. Italian, Mexican, Greek, Chinese and soul food are all my favorites. I also love my dad’s homemade pizza.
    14. I love playing guitar, writing songs and poems, finding new musicians on YouTube, reading about current events (and discussing them with friends), and being with family.
    15. I’ve learned not to expect so much from other people my age… which sounds bad and judgmental, but I don’t mean it to be. I sometimes forget that I am 18 and that my peers are as well. I’ve learned that this is my life, and I have the power to make it what I want it to be… as daunting as that may be. I’ve learned to accept that other people have experienced different things in life than I have.
    16. They’d say… that I’m funny, talented, intelligent, levelheaded, and persevering.
    17. I love that I am empathetic, observant, intelligent, strong, focused. That I can see both the forest and the trees. That I have quite a lot of patience. That I am highly sensitive to beauty. That I want to grow.
    18. I am proud of my resilience. I have overcome a lot. I am not a statistic.
    19. I am most myself when I’m around family or very close friends, or onstage. But I’m really really REALLY myself when I am alone.
    20. The challenge I’m facing is myself… growing into the person I am meant to be. Thinking thoughts that are more positive. Training my mind to be in the present and enjoy the moment.

  14. Rose January 7, 2012 at 3:04 am

    Hello! Rose from London, UK here :)

    Probably one of my worst (read ‘best’) forms of procrastination is getting completely sidetracked by incessant research into the INFJ profile just looking for an honest wealth of information presented with sincerity. As great as the official portraits are I just felt very disconnected from them – never mind the analytical processing and dispassionate satisfaction in the almost ceaseless adulation INFJs get :P

    No but seriously, I’m glad to have happened on this site – I agree it is very practical and very honest, thank you for taking the time to write it and to read all the comments on it.

    What is your favorite time of the day?
    Dusk, dawn and the entirety of the night-time in between. But it can get awfully lonely so I like people to pop into wherever I’ve holed myself to have a quick chat. Usually I end up talking the poor person’s ear off about the latest things I’ve been pursuing. This is usually accompanied by surprise the person has a: remained in the room and b: not fallen asleep.

    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    Oh dear, if only time weren’t linear and sleep was purely recreational, I’d be awake all night and all day! Considering my timetable I’d like to sleep at 10PM and wake up at 6AM.

    What are your top three skills?
    Adaptability to people/situations, Research and pursuit of knowledge, Communication

    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    Elaborate, clever and very, very dry British ;)

    What is your favorite way to relax?
    Depends but usually playing the piano, having a very hot shower or several jugs of tea with a good book/show.

    What are you smartest about?
    The Sciences, Literature, Medicine.

    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    One person is rarely enough, I usually have to go to my mother at some point and possibly my best friends for their input too. Although I have usually ended up doing what I had originally thought to do I really do need the input of people – it makes me feel back in control and out of the red when hearing someone calmly assessing the situation. It’s like letting my hearing the cogs turn in their thought process so I can bring mine and my emotions’ back down a notch to normal pace. This article is very true for me and honestly I hate how I know my judgement and reasoning are impaired by a negative situation but I find it so difficult to step back and let go to the point of distraction.

    Who comes to you for help?
    Peers, parents, siblings and friends.

    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    Actually it started with a guy. A terribly intelligent, terribly imbalanced, terribly suffering from Bipolar Disorder guy who I let make me believe I was stupid and worthless.
    From then: accepted not getting into medical school straight after school, going to do a three year Biomedical degree as a new stepping stone at a university I was vastly overqualified for, pushing through all the negativity within myself, the resentment, the lack of drive and ambition of most of my course peers, refusing to accept third degree treatment from anyone when it came to my education including some of the more flippant tutors, getting through the added stress of lack of guidance in my course and the long, long nights spent without food and sleep driven by a fierce obsession with being the best at any cost, at all cost – because no one who works so hard that food and sleep are no longer a priority will ever doubt that they should be given a second chance. Granted my health suffered but I proved something these last few years.

    I had to be unrelenting in pursuing my goals consistently over three years and ye GODS it was hard and very emotional. I’ve begun to teach myself that anyone will tell you you’re stupid and worthless because of their impaired empathy – something I could never understand because I had no problem empathising with people and so knew never to let anyone feel stupid or that I was superior.

    It was the best thing I ever did. I came out top in my year, won the Bioscience prize for my university, garnered a little respect from tutors, applied to medical school again, am in my third and final year of Biomedicine and have two interviews at medical schools, became healthy and exercised religiously. God was all the pain worth it – with one more semester to go!

    What kind of books do you like?
    Anything with an intelligent and witty story line. Probably among the most entertaining to date were the Lucifer Box novels by Mark Gatiss – bloody brilliant! Also, pet favourites, the Hannibal books by Thomas Harris which I could read ’til the pages wither away.

    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    Gosh, Christian Loboutin heels most definitely. Designer suits and very well tailored dresses. I’d want everything from Hobbs, Jaeger, Karen Millen, Chanel…something elegant, sleek, controlled but alluring. I’ve happily resigned myself to being 20 going on 30!

    What is your favorite type of movie?
    Something that stimulates me emotionally and mentally if I’m feeling like having an adventure or being stirred. Otherwise a nice romantic comedy to just laugh everything away :)

    What are your favorite foods?
    Sushi, anything with fish, fruit and lots of greens

    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    Piano, cooking, belly dancing, running.

    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    Faith, perseverance, determination.

    What would your friends say that they love about you?
    That I refuse to give up on something well after they’ve thrown the towel in and that I motivate them to keep going no matter what.

    What do you love about yourself?
    My well-rounded personality and interests. Even though its a prerequisite for medicine I think I would be like this even if my goal was less of a demanding taskmistress.

    What are you most proud of in your life?
    Finally getting those medical school interviews after 4 years, out of over 2000 applicants to each university I applied to.

    When are you most yourself?
    When I’m with my best friend, Lucy.

    What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    Medical school interviews and final semester of my degree :)

    What else? Add your ideas in the comments section!
    Oh I think I’ve ranted enough, don’t you?

    But I will say thank you for giving me this opportunity. I almost never stop to think of these things, only tucking away achievements under my belt and moving on, ticking them off like items on a shopping list. I never realise that what I have achieved is no small thing no matter how often people tell me. No matter how much I may be good at something, no matter how intelligent people say I am I’m always unsure, never satisfied that I have talents and skills to give and never stop to consider myself as a whole person with all these merits.

    So thank you for giving me a rare and real chance to really look at myself. Its the structure of the questions which I need, the ordered layout for me to overlay emotions and thoughts and really see all the good and the strong in the framework. I would make one hell of a sturdy door right now!

  15. mindye04 January 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Thanks so much for your comments, Rose! Great list, lots of life experience showing up there. I do love the list for the pure joy of swimming in one’s accomplishments, and another powerful way to use it is to really own what *you* like. So many INFJ’s (myself included) look at their preferences as inferior. For example, my best friend is an extrovert and likes to schedule lots of activities. My desire to not overschedule, to spread out my activies and have plenty of down time in between, made me feel like there was something wrong with me. She was “busy” I was “lazy”.

    I want all INFJs to get that it’s a strong choice to do things our way, even if we’re different from the people around us!

    Take care,

    Melinda

  16. Re February 27, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    What is your favorite time of the day? Nighttime :)
    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning? 9 and 10
    What are your top three skills? Writing, Reading, Designing
    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty? I like it all :)
    What is your favorite way to relax? Reading a book w/ calm music, or editing pics.
    What are you smartest about? Design
    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help? My Memmaw, or Aunt Suzi.
    Who comes to you for help? My friends my age, any one who knows me.
    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards? I think it was understanding who I was. I had to trust my gut, and I had to relax, and let go.
    What kind of books do you like? Action romance mixes :)
    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget? Like Avril Lavigne, or in fall styles.
    What is your favorite type of movie? Disney, lol :)
    What are your favorite foods? Mexican!!!
    What pastimes do you enjoy? Writing, reading, edit photos, drawing.
    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year? Who I am, that I’m an INFJ, and that it is ok to feel things.
    What would your friends say that they love about you? How funny I am when I want to comfort them.
    What do you love about yourself? That I love people :)
    What are you most proud of in your life? How comfortable people are of me.
    When are you most yourself? When I am with my Aunt Suzi.
    What challenge are you facing in your life right now? My grandmother has stage 4 breast cancer. :D

  17. doesitexist March 26, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    What is your favorite time of the day?
    night, I love the sun but there’s just something about the night. The energy is different, I can’t explain it, it feels more peaceful and meaningful.

    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    I go to bed when I’m tired and I wake up when I’m not anymore lol If I don’t keep myself on a schedule I’d be nocturnal :X

    What are your top three skills?
    Sadly this is tough for me. I guess I’m understanding and pretty good at learning new things.

    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    Sarcastic, but I love humor of all kinds :D

    What is your favorite way to relax?
    Dim lights, music, a book, the internet, preferably a nice view of an open space (like an ocean’s horizon, the sky, the moon and stars, or even just a grassy field) and my thoughts :)

    What are you smartest about?
    I have no idea, I really don’t consider myself to be a smart person. But I guess I’d have to say my love of learning new things and wanting to figure out how everything works; from clocks to the human condition.

    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    Everyone I know, I love to get as much advice as I can. Advice is one of the most valuable things, imo.

    Who comes to you for help?
    No one really, except my mom sometimes. My lack of life experience is probably what keeps me too naive/ignorant to give good advice.

    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    Getting my GED (left school because of anxiety :/), it was a horribly scary experience and it felt like such a huge failure that my whole education plan was just “poof”. I had to force myself to do it. Afterwards I just felt so drained and obliterated and pretty much went into hiding for a few weeks lol

    What kind of books do you like?
    Fantasy, encyclopedias, sci-fi, and non-fiction.

    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    I love this question. I’m still worried to dress how I want out of fear of people thinking I’m weird. Honestly though, I’d dress like a cross between a american-euro model and a kpop idol :)

    What is your favorite type of movie?
    Movies that bring me to another world, or ones that make me really think.

    What are your favorite foods?
    I love food in general, but I really love vegetables and a lot of asian cuisine.

    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    Writing, sculpting, introspection, thinking about philosophy, listening to music, watching movies or my favorite shows.

    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    phew. I have no idea honestly, the past year has been such a scary blur I don’t even know.

    What would your friends say that they love about you?
    My one and only friend finds me “interesting”. hah, not sure how to take that xD

    What do you love about yourself?
    I love my understanding and my ability to see that no one is truly 100% evil. Everyone has some good in them, and I frequently play the devil’s advocate just to try to get people to see the other side of the issue, even if I agree with them. I also love that I love culture and humanities, including language :)

    What are you most proud of in your life?
    Honestly, nothing really. I feel disappointed with myself at every turn. I’m still working on it.

    When are you most yourself?
    I’m not entirely sure, I have different version of myself that all feel real. I’ve got my introspective-soul searching self, my sarcastic and witty self that loves to crack jokes, my bookworm self, and my devil’s advocate self who is open about my feelings (even the bad ones, almost as if I enjoy embracing my perceived “evils” sometimes; give my idealist self a break lol)

    What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    Finding out who I am, what I want to do with my life, what my talents are, what’s wrong and what’s right, and pretty much everything in between. The typical coming-of-age stuff I guess, I’m 17.

    I really love this website, I’ve always been into self-improvement and personality types (leading to the discovery of my INFJ self) and this website is a great read for me, as tough as it is for me to apply my learned wisdom to my own life lol

    thank you! :)

    • juliewallacerd July 12, 2012 at 9:02 pm

      doesitexist, I loved reading your answers! I related to a lot of them. Be proud of yourself for your successes- anxiety can be disabling but overcoming obstacles is something to be proud of. I guess you remind me a little of myself when I was your age. Good luck with your future challenges- I think we all are facing those to some degree no matter our age.

  18. Jaim May 24, 2012 at 9:11 am

    What is your favorite time of the day?
    Evening, 5-6 pm..the world begins to settle down

    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    Ten pm and then 6am (have to have those exact eight hours or I’m just not on)

    What are your top three skills?
    I know when trouble’s coming
    Making people laugh
    Helping people feel at ease

    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    Quirky and loaded with great story-telling. Can’t tolerate filthy comedy (that’s easy, anyone can do it)

    What is your favorite way to relax?
    Reading exceptional fiction (Malamud, Cather, Maugham, Cheever, the classics) and studying my Bible

    What are you smartest about?
    Knowing how to avoid the perils in this life, and advising others in the same regard, when they ask.

    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    Once a person: Jesus Christ

    Who comes to you for help?
    I am blessed to be asked by many for help (truly humbling). I especially love it when my nieces and nephews seek me out.

    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    To commit to practicing enough to win a Regional Golf competition and then go on to compete in the National Finals

    What kind of books do you like?
    Books that recognize (or lead us to) virtue and truth, even when the author may not be aware he/she has done so

    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    Oh, sport coats, suits, shirts and ties all hand tailored!

    What is your favorite type of movie?
    Inspirational sports film

    What are your favorite foods?
    Pizza (GF), lettuce wrapped bacon cheese burgers, Mom’s lasagna, Mahi-Mahi and a great mixed salad!

    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    Cooking, poetry, writing comedy routines

    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    1. I’m a soul using a body
    2. That even though raised a Catholic I had Jesus and the Bible all wrong
    3. I’m truly an INFJ

    What would your friends say that they love about you?
    My impersonations, my wit, my quirkiness, my bon vivant and my common sense, simple approach to life

    What do you love about yourself?
    That I *finally*, at 48 years old let go and let God. That I am more powerful than the sum of my faults

    What are you most proud of in your life?
    Standing by my wife, a 2-time cancer survivor, and putting in the 24x7x365 care to help her through it all.

    When are you most yourself?
    Alone in the car having amazing conversations with the ether, and on the golf course in a *very* competitive match.

    What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    Finding my true calling and purpose, and wrangling in some finances.

  19. Meghan May 30, 2012 at 8:41 am

    1. What is your favorite time of the day?- Twilight. Those few in between moments between afternoon and evening.
    2. What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?- I like to be in bed by 11 and out by 8ish.
    3. What are your top three skills?- Listening, sympathizing, and planning.
    4. What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?- A little quirky but sometimes a little sarcastic and dry.
    5. What is your favorite way to relax?- Curling up in my room right after I cleaned it with a good book.
    6. What are you smartest about?- My dreams.
    7. Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?- My mommy.
    8. Who comes to you for help?- Rachel.
    9. What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?- Getting out of a negative relationship. I had to learn how to be strong so I could overcome my stubborn/controlling and almost destructive nature that made me think “If I leave, I’ll be unhappy and we will never be together again.”
    10. What kind of books do you like?- All kinds! Fantasy, romance, drama, suspense, comedy. Mostly though, I love a good book that can combine all of those elements.
    11. How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?- Like Audrey Hepburn.
    12. What is your favorite type of movie?- I’m a sucker for hopelessly romantic movies that don’t always have happy endings. I love all kinds though.
    13. What are your favorite foods?- Sushi, Indian, Thai, Mexican(real), Colombian, and Ethiopian.
    14. What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)- Reading, listening and singing along with my favorite songs, movies, adventures, walking, running, kissing, hugging, snuggling, and dancing.
    15. What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?- That things aren’t always as they seem and not as bad as they seem when you are in them. Not everything is concrete or black and white. There are in between bits that don’t follow a certain path of logic.
    16. What would your friends say that they love about you? My optimism and kind heart.
    17. What do you love about yourself?- That I can make it through the toughest events, no matter how long it may take. I love that even though I have been hurt many times, I know I will never stop loving, hoping, and dreaming. I love my beautiful mind.
    18. What are you most proud of in your life?- I am proud of the person I am growing into, I am proud of my family for always being there, I am proud to have this life.
    19. When are you most yourself?- When I am talking about my fears with Bryce, my sadness and doubts with my mother, and when I talk about my dreams with my best friend, Delilah.
    20. What challenge are you facing in your life right now?- The decision to leave or stay. The decision of where to go. The decision to just take a risk and trust in the process that one way or another everything will work out some way, somehow.

    • Mutahir Mirza August 22, 2012 at 8:21 am

      What are you smartest about?- My dreams.

      ^ that’s a smart answer! :D

      and about the challenge.. I’m facing it now.. the decision to leave or stay.. I don’t know what to do..

  20. Kas June 15, 2012 at 6:00 am

    Wow I can so clearly identify with all the answers here and especially Meghan’s. I had an almost identical challenge in a relationship and have learnt the hard way of letting go and yet being happy within myself. I read through the answers here and found my answers. I was struggling for a long time to figure which skills I value in myself and what I am good at. My answers are all connected to the same thread of imagination, creativity, intuition, empathy and relationships. Relationships and people seem to be the soul of whatever I do and how much ever I have tried, I have never been able to move away from that core fact. I still am not sure whether we all can be boxed inside a personality type, as INFJ, but I am glad people like me exist :)

  21. Jules July 12, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    I am glad I stumbled upon this site- thank you for putting this together! So, this is my first interaction here and I am going answer the questions, as well:

    What is your favorite time of the day? Generally any time I am awake. I like every part of the day until it is time to go to sleep.

    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning? Well, that is a difficult question to answer. I have had sleeping problems since I was young. I like to go to sleep when I cannot stay awake any longer and wake up as early as possible without being too tired.

    What are your top three skills? 1. My ability to push myself beyond extremely difficult obstacles 2. My creativity 3. My communication skills

    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty? I would have to say Witty

    What is your favorite way to relax? Singing at the top of my lungs, taking a walk, taking a bath, creating something artistic, playing video games

    What are you smartest about? Knowing my skills and maximizing them

    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help? My husband

    Who comes to you for help? Almost everyone I meet once we have established rapport, it seems

    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards? A very stressful, unpaid healthcare internship but I learned a lot of things from coping with my stress levels, tolerating conflict and learning when to not engage others while they behaved inappropriately, and I learned a lot more about where I may want my career to go.

    What kind of books do you like? Oh, here’s the thing: I love to write but I hate to read. I like to read short pieces of concise materials like articles and research abstracts.

    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget? Expensively but I wouldn’t want it to look expensive. I just want high quality items that would last forever and make a statement about my personality.

    What is your favorite type of movie? Psychological thrillers

    What are your favorite foods? Almost anything vegetarian

    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing) Singing, writing, dancing, gardening, walking, working out with buddies, and creating art be it something on the computer or with my hands.

    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year? 1. Know when to say no but always look for opportunity 2. Don’t take it personally when others dump their own issues on you in rather negative, sometimes hostile ways 3. No one is in charge of your happiness but you so I need to step it up and take charge of it like I do in a lot of other aspects of my life (work, school, etc.)

    What would your friends say that they love about you? I am strong minded but kind and, when I let my guard down, very silly.

    What do you love about yourself? I am complex and myself. There’s no one else just like me and I embrace that.

    What are you most proud of in your life? Conquering the obstacles that I have

    When are you most yourself? When I am home alone or with just 1-2 of my closest friends/family/husband

    What challenge are you facing in your life right now? Too many that are too personal to write here but as a new graduate, finding my place in the world in terms of a job that I can fulfill BUT will also fulfill me (here is hoping!).

    What else? Add your ideas in the comments section!

  22. Mutahir Mirza August 22, 2012 at 8:14 am

    What is your favorite time of the day?
    Probably the sunrise and the sunset..

    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    I usually sleep late and wake up late.. but I can wake up at anytime if I’ve something important to do!..

    What are your top three skills?
    I can judge personalities.. find solutions to problems.. I can listen to people!

    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    A quirky one..

    What is your favorite way to relax?
    Listening to songs..

    What are you smartest about?
    Everything!.. but mostly about planning things such as an event..

    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    My bestfriends for my moodswings.. or the experts for a serious physical issue!

    Who comes to you for help?
    My bestfriends usually.. Aarzu.. and Amruta!.. :D.. but others too..

    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    I really don’t know.. I took a macro shot of an ant.. took me hours to do it.. by holding the lens of my DSLR in reverse.. it was a tough thing to do.. nd I felt great after doing it! :D

    What kind of books do you like?
    Mystery.. myth.. filled with action!..

    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    I would never be able to figure it out.. I would rather ask my friends what looks good on me and get it..

    What is your favorite type of movie?
    I can watch anything but boring romantic movies.. I can watch them too.. but I don’t have many favorites in that type!.. I love action.. science fiction.. crime.. thrillers..

    What are your favorite foods?
    Hummus.. :D.. its an arabic dish.. I love it.. Ladyfingers were my ex-crush!.. :D.. I can eat anything if it looks good.. I am not afraid of trying new things.. :)

    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    I sing.. I can play guitars.. I cant dance.. I love surfing internet.. I can read books.. watch movies..

    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    Its better not to expect much from others.. you can’t really make people fall in love with you.. and that there always are people like you! :)

    What would your friends say that they love about you?
    Probably my caring nature.. my attitude towards people.. and my ability to keep calm..

    What do you love about yourself?
    The same.. but I hate these qualities too at times..

    What are you most proud of in your life?
    I have never been completely dependent on anyone.. and I’ve made many decisions on my own!

    When are you most yourself?
    When I’m alone.. or when I’m with Natasha.. Harjas.. Amruta.. Aarzu.. Ali or Aahana..

    What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    Mostly personal.. :P.. I feel like running away from people.. but I cant.. I am not being able to sort things out.. have too much expectations.. and I dream about things which can never happen.. I live in a fairytale world! :/

    What else? Add your ideas in the comments section!
    I don’t really know.. I want to know if there is somebody really like me or not.. :)

  23. BusinessPro October 31, 2012 at 9:09 am

    So happy I stumbled across your blog this morning! After speaking to a counselor for the past two weeks with the intention of being more mindful of my adult decisions, your articles have helped to make me feel less alien in my thoughts and behaviors as an xNFJ and begin this journey of accepting “who I am”!

    Here are my responses to the questions.

    What is your favorite time of the day? Early mornings and late evenings (if studying, then study times are best in the middle of the afternoon).
    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning? I love to go to bed around 10-11pm and wake up around 6am.
    What are your top three skills? Organization, leadership, goal-setting and follow-through.
    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty? Quirky and dirty, depending on the mood. For example, love Dane Cook, Russell Peters, Sacha Baron Cohen, Will Ferrell, and all the characters off of the Big Bang Theory!
    What is your favorite way to relax? Going to a professional affiliation event or workshop, any form of dance, especially in a loud and crowded club after a busy day working downtown or taking a drop-in adult ballet or jazz class, hiding in a coffee shop with a great new psychology read, spending time with friends, working out, or doing pilates.
    What are you smartest about? Human resources, business presentations, and general academia.
    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help? My Mom.
    Who comes to you for help? My friends, especially ones needing help on their resumes, cover letters or preparation for upcoming interviews!
    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards? The most difficult thing I’ve ever done was work in a foreign country where I didn’t know the language and I was in a leadership position. It took me the ability to connect with people and implement their strengths in the areas where I lacked. For example, I made many friends who fluently spoke the home language as well as English and we helped all helped each other at the workplace to get what we needed to get done, done. They also helped me become attuned to the culture and some of the norms to be expected in the workplace, abroad.
    What kind of books do you like? Psychology, business, and success/talent reads. For example, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell or The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey.
    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget? Sleek black pants, black dress, blazer, and something colorful and fun mixed in to spice up the business wardrobe. For example, a tangerine scarf, a pretty necklace, or a blouse that makes the whole outfit stand out. Still professional and versatile. Can be used in the work place, or blazer taken off to go out dancing!
    What is your favorite type of movie? Psychological thrillers.
    What are your favorite foods? Indian, Vietnamese, and anything made by my Mom (or any women in the family).
    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing) Any time spent with family and friends, AND ESPECIALLY any time where my teams and I have overcome these great challenges in the workplace and succeeded at what we set out to accomplish, I’m talking long-term >1 year business projects that were just so fulfilling to complete and excel at!
    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year? #1)I am more resilient, fun, effective, and accomplished than I sometimes believe myself to be. Especially on these long, cold winter nights, it becomes a lot easier to give into “small thoughts” that pop in the mind after a long day at work! #2) I have the unwavering support of my family, friends, and great new squeeze. #3) When I commit to a project, I never give up and persevere like HELL. At the end of all of the mess (organized along the way), effort, and hard work, it is an experience kind of like making a project into gold – a goal achieved that is so gratifying and fulfilling to the Nth degree.
    What would your friends say that they love about you? My bubbliness, positivity, energy, and charisma (also that I leave very nice gifts and thank you letters to colleagues, family, and friends).
    What do you love about yourself? My go-getting, take-no-bullshit-from-anyone attitude.
    What are you most proud of in your life? My relationships: my best friend, honey, family, and friends, and the connections and unwavering support I receive from alumnus, professional associations, and my coaches/(most) colleagues in the workplace.
    When are you most yourself? When I’m teaching dance, fitness, or pilates classes……. or leading a huge business project (except the instances when I am bitchy, super-stressed, and was so busy I forgot to eat).
    What challenge are you facing in your life right now? Wanting work to progress faster than is realistic or the team is capable.
    What else? Add your ideas in the comments section! Love this blog!

  24. D. November 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    I have only recently discovered that I am an INFJ. As soon as I read the brief description of an INFJ my intuition immediately alarmed me that something “feels right” here. This is probably my recent greatest discovery in learning more about myself even though I am still relatively young. Afterwards, the things I didn’t understand about myself began to make sense. However I still struggle with my internal thoughts although the people around me mostly don’t see this . Although I have many friends in school and is very approachable, I frequently get this sense of detachment and “internal alienation” when I am hanging out with them. It is only recently from seeing videos of INFJs discussing who they are and their weaknesses that I gained a sense of comfort that I am not alone.

    I don’t know what you guys think about this, but the INFJs in videos I have seen all somehow have this peculiar look with their eyes and seem look around everywhere when talking which I do also subconsciously! Do any of you guys do this? What else do you guys see in fellow INFJs that is interesting?

    I’ll try to remember to do this first thing later as I don’t think I have the time right now to complete it.

  25. D. November 24, 2012 at 12:16 am

    What is your favorite time of the day?
    ( When I manage to do so) waking up at 5 feels great as everything is silent and peaceful
    What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
    I try and sleep at 11 pm and wake up at 5 or 6 am
    What are your top three skills?
    Drawing
    being trustworthy to my friends
    remembering the artists and title of a song ( even if its a bad one)
    What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
    Somewhere in between slapstick and quirky.
    What is your favorite way to relax?
    Taking a nap
    What are you smartest about?
    Explaining things that was said before to others, especially to people I know.
    Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
    I usually mend it myself but talking to my younger brother is somehow helpful to me.
    Who comes to you for help?
    Mostly everyone around me in some way, I take pride in that even though I don’t say it.
    What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
    Becoming more organized. I had to be patient,learn from my mistakes and fight myself to have a better line of thought. Even though I still have many moments where I am very cluttered, it feels great to improve on your weaknesses.
    What kind of books do you like?
    Art books and self help ones.
    How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
    Simply, even though I would buy more expensive clothing which looks good but not flashy. Maybe just a better jacket or hoodie , T-shirt, jeans and sneakers
    What is your favorite type of movie?
    I don’t have a specific genre but I like movies which aren’t superficial
    What are your favorite foods?
    Fish meals but nothing specific but I like to try new dishes.
    What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
    drawing,listening to music and playing guitar
    What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
    Try and do things one step at a time.
    Get along with others.
    Don’t get overly fussed with the details but see the being picture.
    What would your friends say that they love about you?
    Maybe because I listen to them, I’m not really sure
    What do you love about yourself?
    I’m a humble and hardworking person.
    What are you most proud of in your life?
    That I care a lot about the people around me and work quite hard to better myself
    When are you most yourself?
    When I’m on my own.
    What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
    My last year in high school…
    What else? Add your ideas in the comments section!
    This blog is great! Thank you for posting :)

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 245 other followers

%d bloggers like this: